From The View Of A Common Person

22 Oktober 2009

20 Oktober 2009

The Grudge

Something from a friend of mine... worth to be shared... again, I shed my tears when I read it...

Just two years after our marriage, hubby brought up the idea of asking Mother to move from the rural hometown and spend her remaining years with us. Hubby's father passed away while he was still very young. Mother endured much hardship and struggled all on her own to provide for him, see him through to a university degree. You could say that she suffered a great deal and did everything you could expect of a woman to bring hubby to where he is today.

I immediately agreed and started packing the spare room, which has a balcony facing the South to let her enjoy the sunshine and plant greenery. Hubby stood in the bright room, and suddenly just picked me up and started spinning round and round. As I begged him to put me down, he said: "Lets go fetch mother.."

Hubby is tall and big sized and I love to test on his chest and enjoy the feeling that he could pick me up at any moment put the tiny me into his pockets. Whenever we have an argument and both refuses to back down, he would pick me up and spin me over his head continuously until I surrender and beg for mercy. I became addicted to this kind of panic-joy feeling.

Mother brought along her countryside habits and lifestyle with her. For example; I am so used to buying flowers to decorate the living room, she could not stand it and would comment: "I do not know how you young people spend your money, why do you buy flowers for? You also can't eat flowers!" I smiled and said: "Mum, with flowers in the house, our mood will also become better." Mother continues to grumble away, and hubby smiled: "Mum, this is a city-people' s habit; slowly you will get use to it."

Mother stopped saying anything. But every time thereafter, whenever came home with flowers, she would ask me how much it costs. I told her and she would shake her head and express displeasure. Sometimes, when I come home with lots of shopping bags, she would ask each and every item how much they cost, I would tell her honestly and she would get even more upset about it. Hubby playfully pinched my nose and said: "You little fool, just don't tell her the full price of everything would solve it."

There begins the friction to our otherwise happy lifestyle. Mother hates it most when hubby wakes up early to prepare the breakfast. In your view, how could the man of the house cook for the wife? At the breakfast table, mother facial expression is always like the dark clouds before a thunderstorm and I would pretend not to notice. She would use her chopsticks and make a lot of noise with it as her silent protest.

As I am a dance teacher in the Children's Palace and am exhausted from along day of dancing around, I do not wish to give up the luxury of that additional few minutes in the comfort of my bed and hence I turned a deaf ear to all the protest mother makes. From time to time, mother would help out with some housework, but soon her help created additional work for me. For example: she would keep all kinds of plastic bags accumulating them so that she sell them later on, and resulted in our house being filled with all the trash bags; she would scrimp on dish washing detergent when helping to wash the dishes and so as not to hurt her feelings, I would quietly wash them again.

One day, late at night, mother saw me quietly washing the dishes, and "Bam" she slams her bedroom door and cried very loudly in her room. Hubby was placed in a difficult position, and after that, he did not speak to me for that entire night. I pretended to be a spoilt child, tried acting cute, but he totally ignored me.... I got mad and asked him: "What did I do wrong?" Hubby stared at me and said: "Can't you just give in to her once? We couldn't possibly die eating from a bowl however unclean it is, right?"

After that incident, for a long period of time, mother did not speak to me and you can feel that there is a very awkward feeling hanging in the house. During that period of cold war, hubby was caught in dilemma as to who to please. In order to stop her son from having to prepare breakfast, mother took on the "all important" task of preparing breakfast without any prompting. At the breakfast table, mother would look at hubby happily eating his breakfast and cast that reprimanding stare at me for having failed to perform my duty as a wife. To avoid the embarrassing breakfast situation, I resorted to buying my own breakfast on my way to work.

That night, while in bed, hubby was a little upset and asked me: "LD, is it because you think that mum's cooking is not clean that's why you chose not to eat at home?" He then turned his back on me and left me alone in tears as feeling of unfairness overwhelmed me. After some time, hubby sighed: "LD, just for me, can you have breakfast at home?" I am left with no choice but to return to the breakfast table..

The next morning, I was having porridge prepared by mother and I felt a sudden churn in my stomach and everything inside seem to be rushing up my throat. I tried to suppress the urge to throw up but I could not. I threw down the bowl, rushed into the washroom, and vomited everything out.

Just as I was catching my breath, I saw mother crying and grumbling very loudly in her dialect, hubby was standing at the washroom doorway staring at me with fire burning in his eyes.. I opened my mouth but no words came out of it, I really did not mean it.

We had our very first big fight that day; mother took a look at us, then stood up and slowly made her way out of the house. Hubby gave me a final stare in the eye and followed mother down the stairs..

For three days, hubby did not return home, not even a phone call. I was so furious, since mother arrived; I had been trying my best and putting up with her, what else do you want me to do? For no reason, I keep having the feeling to throw up and I simply have not appetite for food, coupled with all the events happening at home, I was at then low point in my life.

Finally, a colleague said: "LD, you look terrible; you should go and see a doctor." The doctor confirmed that I am pregnant.

Now it became clear to me why I threw up that fateful morning, a sense of sadness floated through that otherwise happy news. Why didn't hubby, and mother who had been through this before, thought of the possibility of this being the reason that day? At the hospital entrance, I saw my hubby standing there. It had only been three days, but he looked haggard. I had wanted to turn and leave, but one look at him and my heart soften, I couldn't resist and called out to him. He followed my voice and finally found me but he pretended that he doesn't know me; he has that disgusted look in his eyes that cut right through my heart. I told myself not to look at him anymore, and hail a cab.. At that moment, I have such a strong urge inside me to shout to my hubby: "Darling, I am having your baby!" and have him lift me up and spin me around in circles of joy.

What I wanted didn't happen and as I sat in the cab, my tears started rolling down.

Why? Why our love couldn't even withstand the test of one fight?

Back home, I lay on the bed thinking about my hubby, and the disgusted look in his eyes. I cried and wet the corner of the blanket That night, sound of the drawers opening woke me up. I switched on the lights and I saw hubby with tears rolling down his face. He was removing the money.

I stared at him in silence; he ignored me, took the bank deposit book and some money and left the house. Maybe he really intends to leave me for good.

What a rational man, so clear-cut in love and money matters. I gave a few dried laugh and tears starting streaming down again. The next day, I did not go to work. I wanted to clear this out and have a good talk with hubby. I reached his office and his secretary gave me a weird look and said: "Mr. Tan's mother had a traffic accident and is now in the hospital."

I stood there in shock.. I rushed to the hospital and by the time I found hubby, mother had already passed away. Hubby did not look at me, his face was expressionless. I looked at mother's pale white and thin face and I couldn't control the tears in my eyes. My god, how could this happen?

Throughout the funeral, hubby did not say a single word to me, with only the occasional disgusted stare at me. I only managed to find out brief facts about the accident from other people. That day, after mother left the house, she walked in dazed toward the bus stop, apparently intending to go back to her old house back in the countryside. As hubby ran after her, she tried to walk faster and as she tried to cross the street, a public bus came and hit her...I finally understood how much hubby must hate me, if I had not thrown up that morning, if we had not quarreled, if....In his heart, I am indirectly the killer of his mother.

Hubby moved into mother's room and came home every night with a strong liquor smell on him. And me, I am buried under the guilt and self-pity and could hardly breathe. I wanted to explain to him, tell him that we are going to have our baby soon, but each time, I saw the dead look in his eyes, all the words I have at the brink of my mouth just fell back in. I had rather he hit me real hard or give me a big and thorough scolding though none of these events happening had been my fault at all.

Many days of suffocating silence went by and as the days went by, hubby came home later and later. The deadlock between us continues, we were living together like strangers who don't know each other. I am like the dead knot in his heart.

One day, I passed by a western restaurant, looking into the glass window, I saw hubby and a girl sitting facing each other and he very lightly brushed her hair for her, I understood what it meant. After recovering from that moment of shock, I entered the restaurant, stood in front of my hubby and stared hard at him, not a tear in my eyes. I have nothing to say to him, and there is no need to say anything. The girl looked at me, looks at hubby, stands up and wanted to go, hubby stretched out his hand and stopped her. He stared back at me,challenging me. I can only hear my slow heart beat, beating, one by one as if at the brink of death. I eventually backed down, if I had stood that any longer, I will collapse together with the baby inside me.

That night, he did not come home; he had chosen to use that as a way to indicate to me: Following mother's death so did our love for each other. He did not come home anymore after that. Sometimes, when I returned home from work, I can tell that the cupboard had been touched - he had returned to take some of his stuff. I no longer wish to call him; the initial desire to explain everything to him vanished. I lived alone; I go for my medical checkups alone, my heart breaks again and again every time I see a guy carefully helping his wife through the physical examination.

My office colleagues hinted to me to consider aborting the baby, I told them No, I will not... I insisted on having to this baby, perhaps it is my way of repaying mother for causing her death. One day, I came home and I saw hubby sitting in the living room. The whole house was filled with cigarette smoke. On the coffee table, there was this piece of paper. I know what it is all about without even looking at it. In the two months plus of living alone, I have gradually learned to find peace within myself. I looked at him, removed my hat and said: "You wait a while, I will sign." He looked at me, mixed feelings in his eyes, just like mine.

As I hang up my coat, I keep repeating to myself "You cannot cry, you cannot cry...." my eyes hurt terribly, but I refused to let tears come out from there. After I hung up my coat, hubby's eyes stared fixed at my bulging tummy. I smiled, walked over to the coffee table and pulled the paper towards me. Without even looking at what it says, I signed my name on it and pushed the paper to him. "LD, are you pregnant?"

Since mother's accident, this is the first time he spoke to me.

I could not control my tears any further and they fell like raindrops. I said: "Yes, but its ok, you can leave now." He did not go. In the dark, we sat, facing each other.. Hubby slowly moved over me, his tears wet the blanket.

In my heart, everything seems so far away, so far that even if I sprint, I could never reach them. I cannot remember how many times he repeated "sorry" to me. I had originally thought that I would forgive him, but now I can't..

In the western restaurant, in front of that girl, that cold look in his eyes, I will never forget, ever. We have drawn such deep scars in each other's heart. For me, it's unintentional; for him, totally intentional. .

I had been waiting for this moment of reconciliation, but I realized now, what had gone past is gone forever and could not repeated.

Other than the thought of the baby inside me that would bring some warmth to my heart, I am totally cold towards him, I no longer eat anything he buys for me, I don't take any presents from him and I stopped talking to him. From the moment I signed on that piece of paper, marriage and love had vanished from my heart.

Sometimes, hubby will try to come into the bedroom, but when he walks in, I will walk out to the living room. He had no choice but to sleep in mother's room. At night, from his room, I can hear light sounds of groaning, I kept quiet. This used to be his trick; last time, whenever I ignore him, he would fake illness and I will surrender and find out what is wrong with him, he would then grab me and laugh. He has forgotten that last time I cared for him and am concerned because there was love, but now, what is there between us?

Hubby's groaning came on and off continuing but I continuously ignored him.

Almost everyday, he would buy something for the baby, infant products, children products and books that kids like to read. Bags and bags of it stacked inside his room till it is full. I know he is trying to use this to reach out to me, but I am no longer moved by his actions. He has no choice but to lock himself in his room and I can hear his typing away on his computer keyboard, maybe he is now addicted to web surfing but none of that matters to me anymore.

It was sometime towards the end of Spring in the following year, one late night, I screamed because of a sudden stomach pain, hubby came rushing into the room, its like he did not change and sleep, and had been waiting for this moment. He carried me and ran down the stairs, stopped a car, holding my hand very tightly and kept wiping the sweat off my brow, throughout the journey to the hospital.

Once we reached the hospital, he carried me and hurried into the delivery suite. Lying on the back of his skinny but warmth body, a thought crossed my mind: In my lifetime, who else would love me as much as he did?

He held the delivery suite door opened and watch me go in; his warm eyes caused me to manage a smile at him despite my contraction pain.

Coming out of the delivery room, hubby looked at our son and me, eyes tear with joy and he kept smiling. I reached out and touched his hand.. Hubby looked at me, smiling and then he slowly collapsed onto the floor.

I cried out for him in pain... He smiled, but without opening that tired eyes of his... I had thought that I would never shed any tear for him, but the truth is, I have never felt a deeper pain cutting through my body at that moment.

Doctor said that by the time hubby discovered he had liver cancer, it was already in terminal stage and it was a miracle that he managed to last this long. I asked the doctor when he first discovered he had cancer. Doctor said about 5 months ago and consoled me saying: "Prepare for his funeral."

I disregarded the nurse's objection and rushed home, I went into his room and checked his computer, and a suffocating pain hits me. Hubby's cancer was discovered 5 months ago, his groaning was real, and I had thought that... the computer showed over 200 thousand words he wrote for our son:

"Son, just for you, I have persisted, to be able to take a look at you before I fall, is my biggest wish now... I know that in your life, you will have many happiness and maybe some setbacks, if only I can accompany you throughout that journey, how nice would it be. But daddy now no longer has that chance. Daddy has written inside here all the possible difficulties and problems you may encounter during your lifetime, when you meet with these problems, you can refer to daddy's suggestion....

Son, after writing these 200 thousand words, I feel as if I have accompanied you through life journey. To be honest, daddy is very happy. Do love your mother, she has suffered, she is the one who loves you most and also the one who loves me most...."

From play school to primary school, to secondary, university, to work and even in dealing with questions of love, everything big and small was written there.

Hubby has also written a letter for me:
"My dear, to marry you is my biggest happiness, forgive me for the pain I have caused you, forgive me for not telling you my illness, because I want to see you be in a joyful mood waiting for the arrival of our baby...My dear, if you cried, it means that you have forgiven me and I would smile, thank you for loving me...These presents, I'm afraid I cannot give them to our son personally, could you help me to give some of them to him every year, the dates on what to give when are all written on the packaging.."

Going back to the hospital, hubby is still in coma. I brought our son over and place him beside him. I said: "Open your eyes and smile, I want our son to remember being in the warmth of your arms..." He struggled to open his eyes and managed a weak smile. Our son still in his arms was happily waving his tiny hands in the air. I press the button on the camera and the sound of the shutter rang through the air as tears slowly rolled down my face.....

A fatal misunderstanding and the person who loves me the most in this world is gone forever... "Cruel misunderstandings one after another disrupted the blissful footsteps to our family. Our original intend of having Mother enjoy some quiet and peaceful moments in her remaining years with us went terribly wrong as destiny's secret is finally revealed at a price, every thing became too late."...... ..

A Very Touching Story

I've cried when I read it the first time...

4 years ago, an accident took my beloved away and very often I wonder, how does my wife, who is now in the heavenly realm, feel right now? She must be feeling extremely sad for leaving a husband who is incapable to take care of the house and the kid. 'cos that is the exact feeling that I have, as I feel that I have failed to provide for the physical and emotional needs of my child, and failed to be the dad and mum for my child.

There was one particular day, when I had an emergency at work. Hence, I had to leave home whilst my child was still sleeping. So thinking that there was still rice leftovers, I hastily cooked an egg and left after informing my sleepy child.

With the double roles, I am often exhausted at work as well as when I am home. So after a long day, I came home, totally drained of all energy. So with just a brief hug and kiss for my child, I went straight into the room, skipping dinner. However, when I jumped into my bed with intention of just having a well-deserved sleep, all i heard and felt was broken porcelain and warm liquid! I flipped open my blanket, and there lies the source of the 'problem'... a broken bowl with instant noodles and a mess on the bedsheet and blanket!

Boy, was I mad! I was so furious that I took a clothes hanger, charged straight at my child who was happily playing with his toy, and give him a good spanking! He merely cried but not asking for mercy, except a short explanation:

"Dad, I was hungry and there wasn't anymore leftover rice. But you were not back yet, hence I wanted to cook some instant noodles. But I remembered you reminding me not to touch or use the gas stove without any adults around, hence I turned on the shower and used the hot water from the bathroom to cook the noodles. One is for you and the other is for me. However, I was afraid that the noodles will turn cold, so I hid it under the blanket to keep it warm till you return. But I forgot to remind you 'cos I was playing with my toys...I am sorry Dad..."

At that moment, tears were starting to run down my cheeks...but I didn't want my son to see his dad crying so I dashed into the bathroom and cried with the shower head on to mask my cries. After that episode, I went towards my son to give him a tight hug and applied medication on him, while coaxing him to sleep. Then, it was time to clear up the mess on the bed. When everything was done and well past midnight, I passed my son's room, and saw that he was still crying, not from the pain on his little buttock, but from looking at the photograph of his beloved mummy.

A year has passed since the episode, I have tried, in this period, to focus on giving him both the love of his dad and mum, and to attend to most of his needs. And soon, he is turning seven, and will be graduating from kindergarten. Fortunately, the incident did not leave a lasting impression on his childhood memories and he is still happily growing up.

However, not so long ago, I hit my boy again, with much regret. This time, his kindergarten teacher called, informing me of my son's absence from school. I took off early from work and went home, expecting him to explain. But he wasn't to be found, so I went around our house, calling out his name and eventually found him outside a stationery shop, happily playing computer games. I was fuming, brought him home and whack the hell out of him. He did not retaliate, except to say, 'I am sorry, Dad'. But after much probing, I realized that it was a 'Talent Show' organized by his school and the invite is for every student's mummy. And that was the reason for his absence as he has no mummy.....

Few days after the caning, my son came home to tell me, the kindergarten has recently taught him how to read and write. Since then, he has kept to himself and stayed in his room to practise his writing, which I am sure, would make my wife proud, if she was still around. 'cos he makes me proud too!

Time passes by very quickly, and soon another year has passed. It's winter, and its Christmas time. Everywhere the Christmas spirit is in every passer-by... Christmas carols and frantic shoppers....but alas, my son got into another trouble. When I was about to knock off from the day's work, the post office called. Due to the peak season, the post master was also on an edgy mood. He called to tell me that my son has attempted to post several letters with no addressee. Although I did make a promise never to hit my son again, I couldn't help but to hit him as I feel that this child of mine is really beyond control. Once again, as before, he apologized, ' I'm sorry, Dad' and no additional reason to explain. I pushed him towards a corner, went to the post office to collect the letters with no addressee and came home, and angrily questioned my son on his prank, during this time of the year.

His answer, amidst his sobbing, was : The letters were for Mummy. My eyes grew teary, but I tried to control my emotions and continued to ask him:

"But why did u post so many letters, at one time?"

My son's reply was:

"I have been writing to mummy for a long time, but each time I reach out for the post box, it was too high for me, hence I was not able to post the letters. But recently, when I went back to the postbox, I could reach it and I sent it all at once..."

After hearing this, I was lost. Lost at not knowing what to do, what to say.....

I told my son, "Son, mummy is in the heavenly kingdom, so in future, if you have anything to tell her, just burn the letter and it will reach mummy. My son, on hearing this, was much pacified and calm, and soon after, he was sleeping soundly. On promising that I will burn the letters on his behalf, I brought the letters outside, but couldn't help opening the letter before they turn to ash.

And one of the letters broke my heart....

Dear Mummy,

I miss you so much! Today, there was a 'Talent Show' in school, and the school invited all mothers for the show. But you are not around, so I did not want to participate as well. I did not tell Dad about it as I was afraid that Dad would start to cry and miss you all over again. Dad went around looking for me, but in order to hide my sadness, I sat in front of the computer and started playing games at one of the shops. Dad was furious, and he couldnt help it but scolded and hit me, but I did not tell him the real reason. Mummy, everyday I see Dad missing you and whenever he think of you, he is so sad and often hide and cry in his room. I think we both miss you very very much. Too much for our own good I think. But Mummy, I am starting to forget your face. Can you please appear in my dreams so that I can see your face and remember you? I heard that if you fall asleep with the photograph of the person whom you miss, you will see the person in your dreams. But mummy, why haven't you appear?

After reading the letter, I cant stop sobbing. 'cos I can never replace the irreplaceable gap left behind by my wife....

For the females with children:

Don't do so much overtime. If you cannot finish the work, it must be some kind of problems within the company, and it is not your sole problem.

Feedback to your boss. Endless overtime may not necessary be the answer to the problem. Take care of your health so that you can treasure and take care of your little precious.

For the married men:

Drink less, smoke less, cos nothing can replace your good health, not even business nor clients.

Try thinking this way, are you able to work till your clients are totally dependent on you? or your boss is totally dependent on you? In this society, no one is indispensable. Take care of your health, so that you can take care of your little precious and your loved ones.

For those singles out there:

Beauty lies in loving yourself first. With confidence and loving yourself, you will see the beauty in other things around you. You will be able to work better and happier. Don't let your health be affected by your work or your boss, so nothing matters more than your well being.

30 September 2009

Tugas Tambahan Jejas Keupayaan Guru

Azrul Affandi Sobry

AWAL tahun, hari sukan, hari kokurikulum, mesyuarat agung Persatuan Ibu Bapa dan Guru (PIBG), hari terbuka, musim peperiksaan, pertandingan peringkat daerah dan negeri, minggu suai kenal serta banyak lagi beban kerja yang selama ini terpaksa ditanggung guru sehingga sering kali memberi tekanan kepada mereka.

Guru kini bukan sekadar pengajar, malah semakin kurang dapat memberi tumpuan kepada aktiviti pengajaran dan pembelajaran, walaupun semua pihak menekankan kewajipan itu sebagai skop tugas utama guru di sekolah. Apa tidaknya, jengoklah ke mana-mana sekolah, atau tanyalah kepada mana-mana guru pun, pasti keluhan dan rungutan yang akan kedengaran mengenai tumpuan tugas mereka yang semakin hari semakin membebankan.

Itulah gambaran yang sewajarnya dilihat bagi menceritakan betapa guru kini tidak seperti guru pada satu zaman sebelum ini yang dihormati atas kredibiliti sebagai guru yang tegas dalam menyampaikan pengajaran serta cukup disegani atas kedudukan sebagai gedung ilmu.

Banyak pihak yang mungkin mencebik, menjuih bibir apabila guru merungut mengenai beban yang mereka hadapi. Tak kurang juga yang mengatakan guru ketika ini manja dan banyak ‘songeh’ serta pelbagai kritikan lagi seperti - ‘sudahlah kerja separuh hari, cuti banyak pula, itupun nak merungut’.

Namun, mereka yang kebanyakannya menyalahkan guru dalam isu rungutan itu mungkin tidak peka mengenai situasi sebenar kerjaya itu ketika ini yang bukan sekadar kerap perlu bekerja melebihi masa sepatutnya, malah dibebani dengan longgokan kerja yang ada kalanya tak selesai di sekolah, terpaksa dibawa sehingga atas katil sebelum tidur.

Hampir kebanyakan tugas yang selayaknya diuruskan kerani atau pegawai data kini menjadi tanggungjawab guru. Daripada tugas merekod maklumat murid, data peribadi, keputusan peperiksaan secara manual dan berkomputer, bayaran yuran, rekod pinjaman buku teks, inventori aset sekolah sehinggalah kepada urusan pada peringkat pejabat pendidikan daerah serta jabatan pelajaran negeri.

Justeru, tak wajar guru dulu dan sekarang dijadikan perbandingan kerana pada zaman berteknologi maklumat serba canggih ini, semuanya perlu direkodkan secara berkomputer walaupun rekod bertulis turut perlu dibuat dan yang menyedihkan, bukan semua guru ada komputer atau lebih parah lagi, tak semuanya celik komputer.

Sebagai contoh, setiap tahun guru perlu mengemaskini maklumat murid serta data peribadinya. Tak cukup dengan itu, kutipan yuran perlu dibuat sendiri dan direkodkan dengan kemas. Maklumat lain termasuk rekod pinjaman buku teks dan keputusan peperiksaan perlu dikemas kini segera.

Bagi guru yang ditugaskan mengepalai panitia pula, beban itu ditambah dengan keperluan menyediakan kertas soalan peperiksaan hampir setiap dua atau tiga bulan. Ada pula guru yang mahir sedikit dalam reka bentuk grafik ditugaskan pula menyediakan grafik untuk majalah sekolah.

Tidak perlulah diperincikan semua beban tugas lain yang perlu lakukan kerana realitinya itu bukan tugas utama guru di sekolah, malah tak pernah diajar ketika mereka mengambil kursus perguruan di Institut Pendidikan Guru (IPG). Guru kelas pula pastinya sering merungut setiap kali musim kemas kini data tiba dan mereka ini juga yang kebiasaannya ditugaskan sebagai guru panitia, guru pembimbing rumah sukan serta kelab.

Persoalannya, bukankah semua beban tugas itu sewajarnya dilakukan oleh mereka yang lebih pakar dalam tugas merekod data atau maklumat. Bukankah kerja membabitkan kewangan perlu dilaksanakan kerani kewangan dan perihal data pula diuruskan oleh pegawai data? Memang ada guru data di sekolah, tetapi mereka sebenarnya bukan fokus dalam hal data semata-mata kerana perlu juga mengajar di kelas, malah ada yang perlu mengajar subjek kritikal.

Guru IT pula hanya layak mengajar asas komputer seperti menggunakan perisian Microsoft Word, Powerpoint atau Excel tanpa ada skil membuat sistem data yang lebih memudahkan guru memasukkan maklumat secara pantas dan pengiraan markah peperiksaan dibuat secara berkomputer, malah guru IT juga guru biasa yang perlu mengajar.

Pengerusi Majlis Permuafakatan Kesatuan Guru Malaysia, Jemali Paiman, berkata kementerian wajar mewujudkan satu jawatan baru di sekolah iaitu staf sokongan yang ditugaskan merekodkan data.

“Ketika ini, guru terutama guru kelas adalah mereka yang paling teruk dibebani dengan tugas tambahan selain mengajar dan ia paling kritikal ketika musim persekolahan baru bermula. Ketika itu, guru bukan setakat perlu menyediakan maklumat peribadi pelajarnya tetapi dibebani dengan banyak lagi tugas lain.

“Mereka perlu mengutip yuran, sediakan buku kedatangan pelajar, dapatkan maklumat murid serta keluarga mereka seterusnya membuat analisis kelayakan untuk diberi bantuan, malah guru juga bertindak sebagai pegawai kesihatan yang merekodkan maklumat kesihatan.

“Justeru, penambahan jawatan staf sokongan itu amat penting untuk mengembalikan guru kepada tugas sebenar mereka iaitu mengajar. Mereka perlu fokus untuk pengajaran, bukan dalam kerja pekeranian. Jangan biarkan mereka terus buat banyak kerja lain setiap hari dan pening kepala setiap hujung bulan,” katanya.

Jemali turut bersetuju bahawa guru kini bukan sekadar layak digelar kerani tetapi mungkin tukang kebun, pengasuh, pereka grafik, tukang cat dan semua beban kerja yang dilonggokkan ke bahu mereka. Katanya, masa yang lapang hanya dua atau tiga waktu tetapi mengikut pekeliling, ia perlu diisi dengan persiapan mengajar.

“Cuti tahunan atau cuti rehat khas hanya ada tujuh hari. Mana cukup untuk digunakan apabila perlu. Berbeza dengan sektor lain, mereka ada tempoh cuti tahunan lebih panjang dan dapat fokus pada skop kerja mereka.

“Contohnya, mana ada jururawat yang ditugaskan membuat landskap hospital. Mana ada jurutera yang ditugaskan mengecat bangunan pejabat, tapi guru ada ketikanya perlu buat semua itu. malah, mural sekolah atau mengecat bangunan sekolah juga tergalas di bahu mereka,” katanya.

Justeru, adalah wajar kementerian memantau apa keperluan dan keperitan yang dihadapi penggerak utama dalam sektor pendidikan di negara ini. Jangan satu hari nanti, kerjaya guru tidak lagi dipandang tinggi lantaran tidak lagi bertindak sebagai penyampai ilmu berkaliber kerana terlalu fokus pada tugas lain.

Dipetik dari Ruangan Rencana Berita Harian 29 September 2009

15 September 2009

Lailatul Qadar DiHayati Kemenangan DiRai

السلام عليكم
الحَمْدُ للهِ الَّذِيْ أَرْسَلَ رَسُوْلَهُ بِالهُدَى وَدِيْنِ الحَقِّ لِيُظْهِرَهُ عَلَى الدِّيْنِ كُلِّهِ وَلَوْ كَرِهَ المُشْرِكُوْنَ أَشْهَدُ أَنْ لاإِلهَ إِلا اللهُ وَأَشْهَدُ أَنَّ سَيِّدَنَا مُحَمَّدًا عَبْدُهُ وَرَسُوْلُهُ اللّهُمَّ صَلِّ وَسَلِّمْ وَبَارِكْ عَلىَ سَيِّدِنَا مُحَمَّدٍ وَعَلَى آلِهِ وَأَصْحَابِهِ وَمَنْ تَبِعَهُمْ بِإِحْسَانٍ إِلَى يَوْمِ الدِّيْنِ …أَمَّا بَعْدُ…فَيَا عِبَادَ اللهِ ! اتَّقُوْا اللهَ حَقَّ تُقَاتِهِ وَلاتمَوُْتُنَّ إِلا وَأَنْتُمْ مُسْلِمُوْنَ …

Wahai hamba-hamba Allah ! Bertaqwalah sekalian kamu kepada Allah dengan sebenar-benar taqwa. Dan Janganlah kamu mati melainkan dalam keadaan Islam.
Saya menyeru diri saya sendiri dan juga sidang Jumaat sekalian agar kita sama-sama meningkatkan ketaqwaan kita kepada Allah dengan melakukan segala suruhanNya dan menjauhi segala yang ditegahNya.

Sidang Jumaat yang dihormati sekalian,
Firman Allah dalam ayat 1-5 surah al-Qadar :
إِنَّا أَنْزَلْنَاهُ فِي لَيْلَةِ الْقَدْرِ وَمَا أَدْرَاكَ مَا لَيْلَةُ الْقَدْرِ لَيْلَةُ الْقَدْرِ خَيْرٌ مِنْ أَلْفِ شَهْرٍ تَنَزَّلُ الْمَلَائِكَةُ وَالرُّوحُ فِيهَا بِإِذْنِ رَبِّهِمْ مِنْ كُلِّ أَمْرٍ سَلَامٌ هِيَ حَتَّىٰ مَطْلَعِ الْفَجْرِ
Maksudnya: Sesungguhnya Kami telah menurunkan (Al-Quran) ini pada Malam Lailatul-Qadar. Dan tahukah engkau apakah itu Lailatul-Qadar?. Lailatul-Qadar lebih baik daripada seribu bulan. Pada Malam itu, turun malaikat dan Jibril dengan izin Tuhan mereka untuk mengatur segala urusan. Sejahteralah Malam (yang berkat) itu hingga terbit fajar!

Kini kita telah berada pada 10 hari dan malam terakhir daripada bulan Ramadhan yang dijanjikan Allah bahawa ada di antara malamnya suatu malam yang lebih baik daripada seribu bulan. Anugerah yang amat berharga ini telah dijelaskan oleh Allah dalam surah al-Qadr di mana antara sebab turunnya surah ini ialah sebagaimana disebut oleh Ibu Jarir mengeluarkan daripada Mujahid dengan katanya: Adalah pada umat bani Israel ada seorang pemuda mendirikan malam sehingga Subuh. Kemudian dia berjihad melawan musuh pada siang hari sehingga petang. Dia melakukan amalan ini selama seribu tahun lalu Allah menurunkan ayat ini yang memberi galakan dan kelebihan kepada umat nabi Muhammad s.a.w yang mendirikan malam al-Qadar di mana mereka akan memperolehi ganjaran yang lebih baik daripada pemuda bani Israel tadi

Daripada Sayyidatina ‘Aisyah telah berkata : Adalah Rasulullah S.A.W telah beriktikaf pada malam-malam sepuluh terakhir daripada Ramadhan dan baginda S.A.W bersabda yang bermaksud : Carilah malam lailatul qadar pada sepuluh malam terakhir daripada Ramadhan
Antara hikmat disembunyikan Lailatul Qadar menurut Imam al-Razi seorang ahli tafsir terkenal ialah yang Pertama : Agar umat Islam dapat membesarkan keseluruhan malam bulan Ramadhan tanpa memilih malam tertentu sahaja. Kedua : Bimbang umat Islam tidak berusaha untuk merebutnya dengan amal ibadat walau pun telah ditetapkan malam tertentu atau pun dia melakukan maksiat pada malam itu sehingga mendapat kemurkaan Allah kerana berbuat maksiat dalam keadaan tahu lebih besar dosanya. Ketiga : Supaya umat Islam bersungguh-sungguh mencari Lailatul Qadar sehingga dia mampu memperbanyakkan ibadat lalu dia memperolehi pahala daripada kesungguhannya itu. Keempat : Melahirkan umat yang menghidupkan keseluruhan malam Ramadhan dengan harapan akan berkebetulan dengan Lailatul Qadar sehingga meningkat amal solehnya.

Amat malang jika orang lain menggunakan masa yang begitu istimewa ini untuk beriktikaf di masjid sedangkan kita asyik sibuk di Super Market. Amat rugi jika orang lain sibuk menggandakan amal soleh pada hari-hari terakhir Ramadhan sedangkan kita terlalu sibuk dengan persiapan hari raya. Amat kurang cerdik bila orang lain lebih mengejar tawaran istimewa daripada Allah sedangkan kita lebih seronok menyahut jualan murah di pasaraya. Amat kurang bijak bila orang lain berlumba menambah bekalan akhirat sedangkan kita terus asyik dengan dunia

Sidang Jumaat yang dirahmati Allah,
Firman Allah dalam ayat 123 surah Ali Imran :
وَلَقَدْ نَصَرَكُمُ اللَّهُ بِبَدْرٍ وَأَنْتُمْ أَذِلَّةٌ ۖ فَاتَّقُوا اللَّهَ لَعَلَّكُمْ تَشْكُرُونَ
Maksudnya : Sesungguhnya Allah telah membantu kamu dalam peperangan Badar sedangkan kamu ketika itu adalah orang-orang yang lemah

Ramadhan pernah menyaksikan kemenangan besar tentera Islam dalam peperangan Badar al-Kubra pada 17 Ramadhan tahun 2 Hijrah dan pembukaan Kota Mekah pada tahun 8 Hijrah menunjukkan kepada kita bagaimana lemahnya nafsu membolehkan semangat juang semakin kuat. Puasa bukan penghalang yang memadamkan semangat juang sebaliknya ia sebagai suatu tarbiah yang berharga dalam melahirkan umat yang hanya takut kepada Allah sehingga tidak akan tunduk kepada musuh walau apa pun yang berlaku.

Antara faktor utama kemenangan tentera Islam dalam mengalahkan musuh ialah

[1] Teguh hati di mana tanpa keteguhan hati pasukan muslimin dan peneguhan Allah dengan malaikat-Nya, maka tidak akan wujud kemenangan untuk mereka. Keteguhan hati ini sangat penting kerana perjalanan dakwah adalah jalan sangat panjang dan banyak rintangannya. Dengan keteguhan hati inilah yang menyebabkan mereka mendapat kemenangan, kemuliaan dan pahala yang besar. Keteguhan dalam menyatakan kebenaran, tidak tergoda dengan takhta, harta dan wanita serta habuan dunia yang membolehkan kan pasukan muslimin mencapai kemenangan.

[2] Zikrullah iaitu dengan mengingati Allah sebanyak mungkin secara lisan dan hati. Ternyata syarat kemenangan berpihak kepada orang yang sentiasa ingat Allah dengan selalu berzikir, berdoa dan qiamulail. Mengingati Allah ketika berperang akan menyebabkan seseorang akan mencapai ketinggian ubudiah kehambaaan dan keimanan kepada Allah serta tawakkal kepada Allah. Keteguhan hati dan zikrullah adalah cara untuk mencapai kejayaan di dunia dan akhirat.

Sidang Jumaat yang dirahmati Allah,
Firman Allah dalam ayat 46 surah al-A’araf :
وَأَطِيعُوا اللهَ وَرَسُولَهُ وَلَا تَنَازَعُوا فَتَفْشَلُوا وَتَذْهَبَ رِيحُكُمْ ۖ وَاصْبِرُوا ۚ إِنَّ اللهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ
Maksudnya : Dan taatlah kamu kepada Allah dan RasulNya, dan janganlah kamu berbantah-bantahan; kalau tidak nescaya kamu menjadi lemah semangat dan hilang kekuatan kamu, dan sabarlah (menghadapi segala kesukaran dengan cekal hati); sesungguhnya Allah beserta orang-orang yang sabar

Faktor yang seterusnya dalam meraih kemenangan ialah

[3] Taat kepada Allah dan RasulNya di mana pertolongan dan bantuan daripada Allah hanya akan muncul bersama dengan ketaatan kepada Allah dan RasulNya.

[4] Tiada perselisihan di mana keteguhan hati, zikrullah, dan taat kepada Allah dan RasulNya, apabila diikuti dengan berbantah-bantahan maka yang akan terjadi adalah kegagalan dan hilangnya kekuatan. Dalam perang Badar misalnya, Allah menjaga pasukan Muslimin daripada perselisihan dan berbantah-bantahan.

[5] Sabar dalam menghadapi ujian dan kesusahan kerana sabar adalah senjata kekuatan sesuatu pasukan. Sabar dalam menghadapi pertempuran dan sabar dalam menghadapi musibah adalah jaminan bagi sempurnanya pertolongan yang akan diberikan Allah. Sabar bukan bererti pasif. Oleh hal yang demikian, sabar harus sentiasa diiringi dengan ikhtiar dan mujahadah.

[6] Ikhlas di mana kemenangan tidak boleh diraih dengan kesombongan dan riak. Allah pasti akan menolong orang-orang yang berperang di jalanNya dengan niat yang ikhlas. Dalam Islam, bilangan bukanlah faktor yang menentukan segala-galanya tetapi faktor kualiti adalah sesuatu yang perlu diutamakan

Sidang Jumaat yang dirahmati Allah,
Sempena berada dalam bulan Ramadhan yang merupakan bukan perjuangan dalam menewaskan musuh yang tersembunyi iaitu nafsu dan musuh daripada golongan kuffar yang sentiasa memerangi umat Islam maka ini semua menuntut agar kita memenuhi segala syarat kemenangan barulah Allah akan datangkan kemenangan yang dijanjikan. Renungilah nasib yang menimpa saudara seagama kita yang sedang ditindas di tanahair sendiri seperti di Selatan Thailand, Mindanao Filiphina, Palestin, Iraq, Afghanistan, Kashmir, Chechnya dan lainnya di mana atas nama memerangi keganasan maka negara umat Islam yang menjadi mangsa keganasan. Begitu juga nasib yang menimpa saudara kita apabila Kerajaan Xinjiang, China kembali mengeluarkan peraturan yang tidak adil dan ‘tidak menghormati hak asasi manusia’ terhadap muslim Uighur yang diancam akan diberhentikan dari pekerjaannya jika diketahui tidak makan pada waktu makan siang. Kempen makan siang, teh, dan kopi diberi percuma sebagai taktik untuk mengetahui siapa yang berpuasa. Para pemilik restoran Muslim dipaksa menandatangani sebuah dokumen yang menyatakan bahawa restoran akan tetap dibuka dan menjual minuman beralkohol dibulan Ramadhan, jika tidak lesennya akan ditarik. Para imam masjid dipaksa untuk berceramah kepada yang lain bahawa puasa adalah aktiviti yang berbahaya bagi kesihatan. Jika tidak, kewarganegaraan mereka akan ditarik balik. Tiada guna merayu pada musuh, tiada manfaat mengadu kepada lawan. Apa yang diharapkan ialah bantuan daripada saudara seagama yang lebih takut kepada Allah daripada musuh durjana, saudara yang lebih pentingkan akhirat daripada dunia. Berubahlah hasil tarbiah Ramadhan agar kita berjaya dunia dan akhirat.

Firman Allah dalam ayat 35 surah al-Maidah :
يَا أَيُّهَا الَّذِينَ آمَنُوا اتَّقُوا اللهَ وَابْتَغُوا إِلَيْهِ الْوَسِيلَةَ وَجَاهِدُوا فِي سَبِيلِهِ لَعَلَّكُمْ تُفْلِحُونَ

Maksudnya : Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Bertakwalah kepada Allah dan carilah jalan yang boleh mendekatkan diri kepadaNya dan berjuanglah pada jalan Allah (untuk menegakkan Islam) supaya kamu beroleh kejayaan.

بَارَكَ اللهُ لِيْ وَلَكُمْ فِي القُرْآنِ العَظِيْمِ وَنَفَعَنِي وَإِيَّاكُمْ بِمَا فِيْهِ مِنَ الآيَاتِ وَالذِّكْرِ الحَكِيْمِ وَتَقَبَّلَ مِنِّي وَمِنْكُمْ تِلاوَتَهُ إِنَّهُ هُوَ السَّمِيْعُ العَلِيْمُ وَاسْتَغْفِرُ اللهَ العَظِيْمَ لِيْ وَلَكُمْ وَلِسَائِرِ الُمْسِلِمْينَ وَالمُسْلِمَاتِ وَالمُؤْمِنِيْنَ وَالمُؤْمِنَاتِ فَاسْتَغْفِرُوْهُ فَيَا فَوْزَ المُسْتَغْفِرِيْنَ وَيَا نَجَاةَ التَّائِبِيْنَ